One Sick Letter
Friday was my big presentation for the Anthropology Department seminar series. It's likely that no one else thought of it in these terms, but for me it was the proving ground...the first chance for my committee to see that I do actually have enough shreds of knowledge to justify my presence in the program. Since I'm not officially enrolled yet, in my head it was the last chance for them all to say 'wait a minute...maybe
we need to rethink this...'.
I'd gotten good feedback (finally!) on a reworked edition of the draft paper I was planning to present a couple of days before, and am not a nervous public speaker in any case, so heading into the day I was feeling pretty good. And then I woke up. With a stiff neck, fever, chest congestion, and that all-over blah feeling that says 'you really oughtta just stay in bed today.' Just what I needed!
After having a shower and choking down half a bowl of oatmeal I figured I'd walk as far as my office and decide on the way whether or not to call someone to cancel the presentation. Since my committee all knew that I'd had some trouble ironing out the paper in the first place, I had some angst about this option. Didn't want anyone to think I was dodging out because I wasn't ready afterall (and I was definitely
ready!). Plus, I'm only here for a limited time and might not get another chance to do this. Walking helped clear my head. Just when I'd decided that I was definitely okay enough to present (and then go home and fall into bed worry free), it started to hail on me. Hard. Figures.
The day passed well enough. The benefit of feeling rotten was that any minute traces of nerves that may have remained after my preparations were finished vanished in my determination to remain upright for the entire hour. Despite my not following the script I'd prepared beforehand, not talking about half of what I had ready and talking about a whole lot else that I hadn't intended, the presentation went over fabulously. The 25 or so people in attendence not only stayed awake throughout and mostly interested-looking, but also managed to ask 25 minutes worth of questions at the end. I was told by another grad student afterwards that she'd never seen a presentation generate so much discussion. Comment of the day, from my main advisor, 'I can't BELIEVE
you're not even enrolled yet!' I went home to a bowl of soup and a dvd in bed, looking forward to a healthier morning.
Morning dawned, I did indeed feel better. The congestion in my chest had mostly gone away, and my fever had broken in the night as well. Yippee! I got up early, eager to shower and get myself off to the weekly farmer's market to meet some of the other students as planned. And then it happened. The most excruciating moment of my life.
Contrary to its normal pattern, rather than loosening up further in the shower, my neck got more and more stiff. I have relatively often had neck pain in the past, but usually nothing more serious than a persistant inability to look in one or the other direction. It has almost always cleared up on its own after a couple of days. Turning the water off, I leaned over to towel my hair and felt as if someone had torn the back of my head off. Followed in quick succession by the feeling that my left collar bone had suddenly snapped in two. Wow. I don't know how I managed to get my clothes back on or walk back to my room. I was sobbing when I called my classmate Sue.
Sue, bless her soul, is a 54-year old mother of 3 sons (the eldest 2, twins, just a few years younger than I am), who is a physiotherapist by profession. She has just started her PhD in medical anthropology, and is a riot to hang out with. She's been my intrepid tour guide on weekend outings, and is the mastermind behind the department's 'peer
group' coffee meetings which have injected a strong shot of social interaction into the otherwise studious group of post grads here. She drove right over and got me, stretched my neck enough on her at-home treatment table that I could stop whimpering with every breath, put some hot tea into me, and took me to her friend for proper treatment. She
thought about driving me to the hospital, but figured it would mean long waits in the ER, high expenses, lots of probably inconclusive x-rays, and possibly a shot of pain-killers before being sent home with instructions to go to bed and come back if it doesn't improve in 5 days. With something like 50 years of hands-on medical experience between the 2 of them, she figured that if there was anything really serious she or
her friend would pick it up in a hurry and could take me then, otherwise perhaps their alternative treatments could offer more relief. I was not inclined to argue.
Sue's friend Christine has been practicing oriental medicine, accupuncture, massage therapy, and a whole host of other alternative therapies for about 20 years. She studied first in Japan, and then China, and now travels all over the world doing treatments. She happened to be in town for her sister's 60th birthday party (in an odd
twist, staying at Sue's ex-husband's house, where she met with me). This is a woman who absolutely exudes both competence and sincerity. And she was magic. After more than two and a half solid hours of work, stretching, poking, prodding, nudging, twisting, pulling, rubbing, holding, I could move my head in nearly every direction with more
stiffness than pain. The knot in my stomach had let go. The relief was so intense I felt like I must be walking around afterwards surrounded by my own sunny glow. She told me right at the beginning that I shouldn't worry about money - that I could pay whatever I felt able, including nothing. And she meant it. I gave her everything I had in my wallet, which was enough not to be embarassing but certainly less than market
value. She gave me a big hug and sent me back home to Sue's for freshly made chicken soup and organic avocado spread on rice crackers. For the first time in 2 days, I was famished.
Today my neck is unsurprisingly stiff and sore, but not as bad as yesterday. I could get up without trouble, have a shower (I didn't try washing my hair), put on and take off clothes, even put a big load of laundry in the wash. I walked to my office without too much trauma, and to the grocery store (for some avocado and rice crackers to go with the vat of soup that Sue sent me home with). I also spent a long time in the pharmacy, discussing cough suppressants with the helpful pharmacist. The congestion hasn't come back, but the cough is persistent and very, very nasty today. At least thanks to Christine I can cough without immediately tearing up now. As soon as I finish this message I will head back home to bed...or at least to a DVD on top of the covers.
Thank goodness I rented a few last week that haven't come due yet. I never was one to sleep much during the day.
And if this is the swine flu, which one of my advisors on Friday guessed, since my cough apparently sounds just the same as her husbands who has it, then I hope it doesn't get any worse than this. She assures me that it has been mild and over quickly in his case, and in most of the great number of cases on campus and in town at the moment. It's winter in Dunedin afterall, at a crowded university just back from a
break long enough for travel. Flu's peak season. If you are the praying type, this would be a good time to nudge God in my direction. And if you're not, whisper a fortifying word or two in my direction please - no matter how terrific the local support (did I mention yet that Sue is my guardian angel???), it's never fun to be sick far from home.
Hoping this finds each of you in better health than I am, but in spirits just as high! Much love.
we need to rethink this...'.
I'd gotten good feedback (finally!) on a reworked edition of the draft paper I was planning to present a couple of days before, and am not a nervous public speaker in any case, so heading into the day I was feeling pretty good. And then I woke up. With a stiff neck, fever, chest congestion, and that all-over blah feeling that says 'you really oughtta just stay in bed today.' Just what I needed!
After having a shower and choking down half a bowl of oatmeal I figured I'd walk as far as my office and decide on the way whether or not to call someone to cancel the presentation. Since my committee all knew that I'd had some trouble ironing out the paper in the first place, I had some angst about this option. Didn't want anyone to think I was dodging out because I wasn't ready afterall (and I was definitely
ready!). Plus, I'm only here for a limited time and might not get another chance to do this. Walking helped clear my head. Just when I'd decided that I was definitely okay enough to present (and then go home and fall into bed worry free), it started to hail on me. Hard. Figures.
The day passed well enough. The benefit of feeling rotten was that any minute traces of nerves that may have remained after my preparations were finished vanished in my determination to remain upright for the entire hour. Despite my not following the script I'd prepared beforehand, not talking about half of what I had ready and talking about a whole lot else that I hadn't intended, the presentation went over fabulously. The 25 or so people in attendence not only stayed awake throughout and mostly interested-looking, but also managed to ask 25 minutes worth of questions at the end. I was told by another grad student afterwards that she'd never seen a presentation generate so much discussion. Comment of the day, from my main advisor, 'I can't BELIEVE
you're not even enrolled yet!' I went home to a bowl of soup and a dvd in bed, looking forward to a healthier morning.
Morning dawned, I did indeed feel better. The congestion in my chest had mostly gone away, and my fever had broken in the night as well. Yippee! I got up early, eager to shower and get myself off to the weekly farmer's market to meet some of the other students as planned. And then it happened. The most excruciating moment of my life.
Contrary to its normal pattern, rather than loosening up further in the shower, my neck got more and more stiff. I have relatively often had neck pain in the past, but usually nothing more serious than a persistant inability to look in one or the other direction. It has almost always cleared up on its own after a couple of days. Turning the water off, I leaned over to towel my hair and felt as if someone had torn the back of my head off. Followed in quick succession by the feeling that my left collar bone had suddenly snapped in two. Wow. I don't know how I managed to get my clothes back on or walk back to my room. I was sobbing when I called my classmate Sue.
Sue, bless her soul, is a 54-year old mother of 3 sons (the eldest 2, twins, just a few years younger than I am), who is a physiotherapist by profession. She has just started her PhD in medical anthropology, and is a riot to hang out with. She's been my intrepid tour guide on weekend outings, and is the mastermind behind the department's 'peer
group' coffee meetings which have injected a strong shot of social interaction into the otherwise studious group of post grads here. She drove right over and got me, stretched my neck enough on her at-home treatment table that I could stop whimpering with every breath, put some hot tea into me, and took me to her friend for proper treatment. She
thought about driving me to the hospital, but figured it would mean long waits in the ER, high expenses, lots of probably inconclusive x-rays, and possibly a shot of pain-killers before being sent home with instructions to go to bed and come back if it doesn't improve in 5 days. With something like 50 years of hands-on medical experience between the 2 of them, she figured that if there was anything really serious she or
her friend would pick it up in a hurry and could take me then, otherwise perhaps their alternative treatments could offer more relief. I was not inclined to argue.
Sue's friend Christine has been practicing oriental medicine, accupuncture, massage therapy, and a whole host of other alternative therapies for about 20 years. She studied first in Japan, and then China, and now travels all over the world doing treatments. She happened to be in town for her sister's 60th birthday party (in an odd
twist, staying at Sue's ex-husband's house, where she met with me). This is a woman who absolutely exudes both competence and sincerity. And she was magic. After more than two and a half solid hours of work, stretching, poking, prodding, nudging, twisting, pulling, rubbing, holding, I could move my head in nearly every direction with more
stiffness than pain. The knot in my stomach had let go. The relief was so intense I felt like I must be walking around afterwards surrounded by my own sunny glow. She told me right at the beginning that I shouldn't worry about money - that I could pay whatever I felt able, including nothing. And she meant it. I gave her everything I had in my wallet, which was enough not to be embarassing but certainly less than market
value. She gave me a big hug and sent me back home to Sue's for freshly made chicken soup and organic avocado spread on rice crackers. For the first time in 2 days, I was famished.
Today my neck is unsurprisingly stiff and sore, but not as bad as yesterday. I could get up without trouble, have a shower (I didn't try washing my hair), put on and take off clothes, even put a big load of laundry in the wash. I walked to my office without too much trauma, and to the grocery store (for some avocado and rice crackers to go with the vat of soup that Sue sent me home with). I also spent a long time in the pharmacy, discussing cough suppressants with the helpful pharmacist. The congestion hasn't come back, but the cough is persistent and very, very nasty today. At least thanks to Christine I can cough without immediately tearing up now. As soon as I finish this message I will head back home to bed...or at least to a DVD on top of the covers.
Thank goodness I rented a few last week that haven't come due yet. I never was one to sleep much during the day.
And if this is the swine flu, which one of my advisors on Friday guessed, since my cough apparently sounds just the same as her husbands who has it, then I hope it doesn't get any worse than this. She assures me that it has been mild and over quickly in his case, and in most of the great number of cases on campus and in town at the moment. It's winter in Dunedin afterall, at a crowded university just back from a
break long enough for travel. Flu's peak season. If you are the praying type, this would be a good time to nudge God in my direction. And if you're not, whisper a fortifying word or two in my direction please - no matter how terrific the local support (did I mention yet that Sue is my guardian angel???), it's never fun to be sick far from home.
Hoping this finds each of you in better health than I am, but in spirits just as high! Much love.
posted by Roberta | 12:54 PM
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